CONVERSATIONS WITH THE TOWER
Tower: Eastern flight 702, cleared for takeoff
Pilot 1 (Eastern 702): Tower, Eastern 702, switching to Departure. By the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.
Tower: Continental flight 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702
Pilot 2 (Continental 635): Continental 635, roger, cleared for takeoff. Did you copy the report from Eastern 702?
Did you copy the report from Eastern 702?
Tower: roger and yes, we copied 635, and have already notified our caterers.
Tower (to pilot after landing): Just to let you know, on the approach you were a little bit left of the centerline.
Pilot: That is correct, Sir. And my first officer was slightly to the right.
Lost Student Pilot: Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, please identify yourself!
Pilot: Tower -- Cessna N2349 -- student pilot -- out of fuel!
Tower: Roger Cessna N2349'er, reduce airspeed to best glide! Do you have the airfield in sight?
Pilot: Uh, Tower ... I am on the south ramp. I just want to know where the fuel truck is.
[selected from re-quest.net]
With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go!" The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the cameraman instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can get shots of the fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a cameraman for CNN," he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is ... you're NOT my flight instructor?!"
During training exercises, the green lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road.
He encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. "Yours is."
[forwarded by Kerry Jones]
Liars in Church
The Preacher finished the service one morning by
saying, "Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject
As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all
to read Mark 17."
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin.
Looking out at the congregation he said:
"Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17.
If you have read the chapter, please raise your
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, "You are the very
people I want to talk to.
Mark has only 16 chapters