A police officer stopped a motorist for failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign and proceeded to give him a ticket.
The motorist protested, "Don't I get a warning?"
The officer replied, "Sure. If you don't come to a complete stop next time, you'll get another ticket."
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.
When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?" He took his problem to his best friend, Ike.
"Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?"
"Funny you should ask," said Ike. "I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi."
So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.
"Funny you should ask," said the rabbi. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?"
And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:
"Funny you should ask," said the Voice. "I, too, sent my Son to Israel . . ."
[forwarded by Karl]
Remember Adam & Eve? It wasn't the apple in the tree but the pair on the ground that was the problem.
My mouth doesn't seem to have a backspace key.
Every morning during our coffee break, we listened to the culinary challenges (and disasters) from one of our newlywed colleagues. We usually tried to share helpful hints and tips from our own recipes.
One day she actually broke down crying, explaining that sweet potatoes were her husband's favorite dish and she just couldn't get them right. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she sobbed, "but how do you make them orange?"
[Joe's Clean Laffs via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]