Saturday, November 13, 2010

The latest funnies


How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

How do you throw away your old garbage cans?

I am a bomb squad technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

~ Favorite food -
       Dogs: kibbles
       Computers: bits
~ After destruction of personal property -
       D: dog not found
       C: file not found
~ Favorite trick -
       D: roll over
       C: play dead
~ Unique behavior -
       D: lick and drag
       C: click and drag



My 72-year old uncle was in hospital for prostrate surgery. He was admitted at 6:00 a.m., the surgery was performed at 7:30 a.m., and we were amazed when the hospital discharged him by 4:00 p.m. and he was back in his own bed before supper.

Later that week, in one of those odd coincidences, we had to take his dog to the Veterinarian because Rex also needed prostate surgery. I asked the Vet what time I should pick Rex up.

I was told Rex would be staying overnight and I should come back around noon the next day.

"Overnight?" I asked. "His owner just had this same surgery and was home that same day."

The Vet looked at me and replied, "Yes, well, Rex isn't covered by an HMO."

[Joke of the Day via Charlie's Chuckles with a little editorial massage by Mark Raymond]


"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."  (Mark Twain)

"So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health."  (A.J. Materi)


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